ABUNDANCE: Isabel's Story

I was swimming in the abundant ocean of negativity and felt I was drowning. Every time I thought of something I translated it into a mass of fear. I kept feeding my negativity with my own thoughts until they became a reality and part of my life. There was nothing I could do about it. This was life, I used to say to myself. We had come here to suffer, and that was it. (What a negative affirmation!).

This thought form began in 1973 after the death of my husband-to-be: the man I fell in love with. It was love at first sight. Fifteen days before we were to be married he died. I was two months pregnant. When I learned of the tragic accident I was paralysed. I actually did not believe it. Somewhere inside me felt that there was a misunderstanding and that it was someone else who had died. But the facts were different, he had gone... and this was when fear became part of my life.

I used to be a very happy person. Life was like a magical gift. I enjoyed everything I did and I loved people. Then the shock of responsibility for the future set in. It looked like a black brick wall. This wall was my big fear. What was I going to do, alone, sad, with a baby inside me, no money and a badly paid job? Life continued and the baby was born, a beautiful boy that I named after his father. I loved my baby.

One-and-a-half years later I married a man who taught me all that I did not want in my life. It took me 9 years to gain the courage to leave that negative relationship. My son and I left him to start a new life with the hope that all of my problems would disappear. In fact they did not go away. Other problems came and insecurity, confusion, loneliness and more fear continued to be part of my life. I went to see doctors, right left and centre, only to discover that I was going through a depression. I did not know that depression existed until I was told that all my pains and discomfort were a manifestation of the overwhelming responsibilities and unhappiness.

But somewhere in my turmoil there was a little voice inside me that kept reminding me that there was more to life than just suffering. I began to explore the inexplicable by reading books, to learn about the meaning of life and the why of things. I found the right friends and people who helped me. I started to talk about my problems and fears so I could understand them. I searched for 15 years. I came across the writings of Krishnamurti, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Og Mandino, Tibetan philosophy and many others. I also went to Bible studies which helped me a lot, read Louise Hay books and listened to her tapes. I listened and learned. I became interested in exploring further such as the importance of proper breathing for optimum health, healing, Reiki and the road of discovery to self development began. I attended seminars, courses, talks and meditations. I felt the need to know more about the body/mind connexion. I learned massage and studied aromatherapy, the use of flower essences and more. This became my passion.

My life experiences took me to places that I could not have dreamed possible and, little by little, the ocean of negativity in which I had been drowning started to become the ocean of positive thoughts and hope and I began to swim in the abundant ocean of life. I began to learn how to love myself, to forgive, to love the child within me, to look at problems as opportunities to grow, to understand that nothing happens by accident and that out of a difficult situation only good will come; about being safe and secure and above all to follow my instincts; that I was a child of the universe, that I deserved the best, not just a little, but the very best - and my heart started to open.

Little did I know that all this preparation was going to be tested in practice. My beloved son went into a coma after a car accident and the use of drugs. The doctors did not give me much hope. He was going to die. Again, something inside me, the little voice, told me he would live. It was a matter of time - and the story of the bear came to me. The bear goes to hibernate during the winter and during that time he rests and regains energy and comes out weak but happy to welcome the spring, a new life for the bear - and little by little he gets stronger and stronger to enjoy the summer. So, this became my belief. I knew he was hibernating and when his body/mind was ready, he would come to life. I applied massage, aromatherapy, flower essences and everything I knew on him every day, got a walkman and played tapes of meditation music with the sound of birds and the ‘love yourself' affirmations,. I read him books and talked to him as if he was awake I prayed to God, Jesus, angels anyone that could reach God to help him, I realised that in moments like this one's faith can grow limitless because we have unlimited power through faith, and themiracle happened! Before Christmas, after two months in a coma, he opened his eyes.

The rehabilitation process began. He had to re-learn to walk, eat and drink. His immediate memory was also seriously damaged. Two minutes of gymnastics and he was exhausted. I thought the "Love your body" tape of Louise Hay might help and I took it to him. Within two weeks he was bicycling 20 minutes a day! I understood the power of the mind over the body. His recovery took almost 2 years a lot of inner work.

I opened my heart with love and welcomed the abundance of love, understanding and acceptance in my life. This was the beginning of my new life. I was ready to heal my life and to love myself exactly as I am so I could love others more. I started to work in depth on the Louise L. Hay philosophy, because after reading her books and experiencing them in my life, I realized that her straight, simple and common-sense philosophy felt good for my personal growth. With the added understanding and knowledge that I had acquired from other sources and my own personal experiences, I began to put her teachings into practise. It all made sense. I felt at ease and secure in her work and my life started to work by applying her techniques - not only for myself, but also to help heal my son who desperately needed it. My son is now working, independent and is learning more and more about himself and developing his self-confidence. The doctors never thought this possible.

The journey continued and I realized that I had a purpose in life - to help others heal their lives. I felt the need to expand and to grow and I asked the universe for help and new doors started to open. I went to California and Hawaii to be trained as a Louise L. Hay teacher. I will always remember her words when we said goodbye :"Isabel, you know, love really heals."

And this is where I am, looking at myself and for the first time feeling safe. Teaching Louise's philosophy in courses and workshops for those who wish to participate and improve the quality of their lives and observing the transformation in peoples' lives through this powerful work is the greatest reward I could have.

I believe that behind each fear hides a shining star. With love, trust and faith I see my life unfolding in ways I could not have imagined before. And so it is.

Isabel Contreras